I paged through H Girl's new Brio mag for a second tonight and came across a couple of reply letters to a short article they published a couple of months back. It was about Christian Girls that don't fit the 'Nice Christian Girl' mold. It struck me again that I'm not a 'Nice Christian Lady' and every time I decide I will be, I make myself pretty unhappy.
Don't get me wrong here. I am a Christ-Follower, and a very earnest one. I just can't seem to march along with those lovely ladies that people in Christendom so admire; I'd much rather see Ray Van Der Laan on video than Beth Moore, I'm much happier studying C.S.Lewis than Max Lucado. I'd sign up in a minute for a serious session studying something like a real book of the Bible, but just roll my eyes when the next 'study' in our Bible School class turns out to be the latest Zondervan pop-Christian offering. I just don't have any interest in Prayer Journaling, especially in a notebook pre-printed with uplifting messages on every page. Urgh.
Last time I blogged I signed up to be included in a couple of blogrolls. Most of them having to do with the stage of life I'm in- Motherhood, and the type of person I am - A Christian. I found very, very few blogs there worth reading. If I could get past the scrolly, blinkey, cutesy, crap at the top of the page - I was repelled by the saccherine content extoling cheerfulness and loveyness. They never spoke to the place I am.
I'm more often in the trenches with Murray, Miller, and Strobel. Unbelievably some of those N.C.L.'s even have a talent for making the Bible sound trite! A few times in my life I've decided that if that is what Christian Womanhood is all about, I'd better get on the band-wagon. Those were the most unproductive times in my whole spiritual experience.
Next week, I'm being forced into the perception of N.C.L. - hood again. TeenPact - which at its heart is a very good Citizenship and Leadership experience for homeschooled teens, has a STOOPID dress code that the teens and PARENTS attending MUST follow. For Ladies that includes; skirts or dressed- mid-calf or lower, loose tops with moderately high necklines and sleeves 1/2 way to the elbows. I don't even own clothing like this: I usually wear dress pants to Church, knit tops, nice jackets, Tshirts and Blue Jeans. The three dresses/skirts I would consider wearing anyplace else have higher hems, or profiles that are too slim. Because of this, I usually avoid staying at the classes, or even talking with the other parents. I do have to dig to the back of my closet for an outfit to wear for the first day's parent orientation, and for the last day's graduation. I feel like a hypocrite the whole time - which I'm not, and look like a doofus.